Are You Guilty of Judging Others?
Can you teach me to Living Judgement Free?
Following my Facebook Live lesson on Judgement vs. Discernment, I got a private message that read; “I get it I need to stop judging others the hard part is how any advice.”
First, thank you for the question I always welcome feedback and the quest to know more and be more. Secondly, I don’t think that ending the habit to “judge” can be fixed with just thought I think and know it takes a very high level of awareness and self-discipline. But like all habit, yep that Judging thing you do is a habit and habits can me shaped and changed. There is always a benefit when we take control of our habits.
7 Ways To Break the Habit of Judging Others
- Monitor your thoughts.Think about what you are thinking about. I often go along thinking things about other people, judging them, and I don’t even realize it. The truth is we all slip into that judgment zone when standing in line at the Walmart. We start to write other people story without a clue who there really are. If you are ready to stop the habit start by telling yourself – “stop it” when those stories start in your head and then silently apologize to the other person. You rally have no right to go through life writing other people’s story with all the facts.
- Look for the positive. Judgments are negative. There is almost always something positive you can find in someone or something. While your mind might immediately focus on the negative, you can push your thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say. And, like your momma always said, if you can’t find something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Speaking and Thinking negatively is a choice and as long as it remains a choice you have control over it.
- Avoid stereotyping. Stereotypes are never, ever good. I try to avoid them, but I know I don’t always. Stereotypes are an act of convenience. We use them to place people in groups, so we do not have to make an effort to know their real story. As I said above, they create a lot of negativity in the world, and I know you don’t want to be a part of that. Work on recognizing stereotypes and working to avoid them at all costs. There is no need for them in your life.
- Stop judging yourself. It’s not all that easy to do, but the more we judge ourselves, the more we’ll judge others. If you judge yourself a lot, then you need to work on that. You need to focus on the positive aspects of you, and then it will be a lot easier to focus on the positive aspects of others. There’s no reason to be so hard on yourself.
- Focus on your life. When all else fails, and judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don’t worry about what other people are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your life. Focus on what you want and go after it. When you’re trying to avoid your problems, it’s easy to criticize others. Don’t. Think about you and focus on the good things.
- Remember how it feels. Remember how it feels to be judged. AND remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn’t feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now. Work on remembering these feelings the next time you feel like a negative thought about someone else is cropping up.
- Take a deep breath. Often we judge out of anger or frustration and if we just took a deep breath and counted to ten. We would see it is not all that and maybe just letting it go is the best thing for everyone in the long run.
In my quest to understand that lesson on Judgement vs. Discernment, I am starting to see how much hard discernment is. Why because it requires I do the work I prepare to grow and take accountability for me and my actions and stop blaming others.
No one said this personal growth thing was easy, but I will tell you this, it is so worth the peace and wholeness you find along the journey.
Starting today make your mind a “judgment free zone.”